she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
