i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
