ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
