Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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