I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
