i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
whose parrot is this?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
