Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I love you.
Bad choice
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