The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
