I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
