recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
