you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
