You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
