fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize