We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
