I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is that strawberry winking at me??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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