Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
