Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
