I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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