What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You need Xanax blowdarts
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
