I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
