How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm at about main and main street
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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