I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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