I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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