Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
