How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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