You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Still dying that you shit outside
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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