her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
