Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so let's talk penis.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's the barista slut.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
