His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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