I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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