if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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