I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
