This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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