i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
