You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize