I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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