I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
