i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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