I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
