I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
