then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
