I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
