But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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