Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I could fuck to npr.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
