I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
