it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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