hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
