I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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