It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
time to smoke my breakfast
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
