In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My pussy is not your playground.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
