I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
