You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Man, jail baloney is awful.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
