the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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