i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
