Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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