In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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