covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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