I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
