Do you still have your period?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
