Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
