i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Boobs speak an international language.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
