big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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