I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
