Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
