It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
