bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
