I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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