I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
