i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
